Nine years ago on Mother’s Day, I dressed a little baby girl in a handmade white dress for baby dedication Sunday.

Last night, I couldn’t sleep. I took the time to make little bows for Baby B’s head and feet to wear with the very same white dress that her big sis wore on her dedication day.

Tears streamed as the bitter sweetness of this day set in as it has in my heart for the past 13 years. . . the first Mother’s Day that I watched friends dedicate babies as I grieved the loss of mine. (I wrote more about this last Mother’s Day when we began telling family and friends about our being pregnant with Baby B)

Mother’s Day would never again be the same for me.

Tears also flowed because making pink bows always brings a rush of emotion as I remember making a special pink bow for my baby niece Daisy to wear.  I never got to hold her since she was born in Thailand, but I was thrilled to make a pink bow for her to be buried in.

Last night I searched for just the right accessory for Baby B to wear to commemorate her 3 siblings and two cousins in heaven.

I wanted something gold.

One of my sweet college roommates lost her baby girl, “Goldie” this year and it will be her first Mother’s Day to taste the bitter sweetness of this day.  I wanted to have my friend on my mind to pray for as I enjoyed the sweetness of my baby girl.  (You can read about her journey here )

I came up short.

Then I remembered a box of gold jewelry that was left over from a garage sale. This costume jewelry belonged to my sweet sister in law’s momma who went to be with Jesus this year.

And just like my Heavenly Father always does, He had a gift for me in that box.

A gold angel pin.

There were only three things left in the box and one of them was a golden angel pin. Are you kidding me? I didn’t even remember seeing that pin before.

Thank you Mrs. Norma. We will all grieve you this Mother’s Day but you left behind a gift and we know you are loving on our babies in heaven.

Oh, and if you read the post that I linked above…my friend that pregnant me hugged last Mother’s Day because she was grieving the loss of her baby son…today I will stand next to her as she will be dedicating her daughter…a baby girl she has adopted.

Bittersweet.  Bittersweet.

Big sister on her dedication day nine years ago...oh how we look young and naive.

Big sister on her dedication day nine years ago…oh how we look young and naive.

Gold pin.  Pink bows.  My sister would be proud that I took the time to accessorize. Most people don't believe it when I tell them the ponytail princess has some mad bow making skills...

Gold pin. Pink bows. My sister would be proud that I took the time to accessorize. Most people don’t believe it when I tell them the ponytail princess has some mad bow making skills…

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