This morning I am sitting in the waiting room of the hospital lab waiting an hour for the nasty glucose drink to make it into my system so they can test my blood sugar.
I had forgotten about this glorious pregnancy experience.
Funny thing is… as I am waiting, I am thinking about how quickly time flies.
In the past few weeks, several people have asked me if I am ready for the sleepless nights, monthly doctor’s visits, and poopy diapers that are in my near future.
Up until last week, I would answer these questions with a less than confident, “Sure.”
What I really want to say to these questions is “ Of course we aren’t. Is anyone ever truly ready for their world to be rocked by the relentless demands of a tiny human who can do nothing for themselves except scream and dirty diapers?”
Last week, it struck me. I am indeed ready.
Last week my oldest nephew started college. He was born my freshman year of college.
Last week my son started his last year of elementary school and it won’t be long before I will officially be the mother of a teenager.
Last week I realized my son is in the same grade that Joe’s little brother was in when I met Joe…5th grade. Now little brother Bucky is an ambitious vet school student creeping closer to the age of 30.
When I was the mother of two kids under the age of two, I remember well-meaning mothers who were sending their own kids to middle school or college reassuring me that time flies by and to enjoy my kids when they are babies.
I would smile and nod. But I wasn’t really sure how to respond. During the throws of potty training a two year old and nursing a three month old….time was not flying.
Some days time seemed to stand still, and I would count down the minutes until nap time and bed time.
Funny thing. Somewhere along the way…time did indeed start flying. I can’t even tell you when I felt the clock start speeding up….it just did.
The kids both learned to wipe their own bottoms.
They no longer need me to read books to them (although I still do).
And last week, a conversation with my son reminded me that indeed I am ready and even honored to get to help God mold another human life into a world changer in His Kingdom. . . even if it means going through sleepless nights, ear infections, and stinky diapers all over again.
Friday afternoon I picked up the kids from school after completing their first full week, and they both about collapsed in the car from exhaustion.
Caleb asked me, “Mom, can I take a two day nap?”
I looked back at him and for a moment thought, “Is this going to school thing worth it?”
Each year Joe and I revisit our own decision for educating our kids in the public school system.
I am privileged to have many dear friends who have chosen different paths of educating their children. Each family making the choice that is a best fit for their own kids and family.
Home education. Private school. Large and small public schools. Classical education. Montessori education.
We see the lives of our home school friends and think the perks of being a homeschooling family seem incredible.
We hear about the Bible classes at the schools of our Christian private school friends and would love Bible as a class choice for our own kids.
Many of my friend’s young kids are studying Latin in their amazing classical education or learning at their own pace in their Montessori method school, and my mommy heart sometimes skips a beat in jealousy at the educational opportunities the kids in these schools have.
My head often swirls with doubt that I have made the wrong choice….that somewhere along the way I misheard the Holy Spirit and need to pull my kids out and home school or look more closely into the private schools available in our city.
Looking into the eyes of my exhausted son, I began to doubt once again our decision to educate our children in the public school system.
Then the conversation on the drive home turned from tiredness to this…..
“Momma, I found out today that the girl sitting next to me has never read the Bible.”
Caleb went on to tell me that he and the little girl sitting next to him were having a discussion about something the class had read. He had mentioned to her that it was similar to how the Israelites in the Bible were persecuted by Pharaoh.
Caleb explained to me in shock that this 5th grade girl had never read any stories of the Bible and that she had only been to a church one time on Easter when she saw pictures “of a man getting beaten by a whip.”
My heart beamed with pride as he told me about telling her about Jesus.
The conversation was the perfect time for me to remind Caleb that throughout his life God will perfectly position him next to people who need to hear about the hope that is found in Jesus.
I fought back the tears. It was if the Lord knew in that moment I needed reassurance that God had made Joe and I the parents of our children and that He had given us the wisdom needed to parent them to be world changers for Him.
The same Biblical wisdom that helped us answer these parenting questions we have faced…
Should I let him cry it out to get him to go back to sleep?
Am I dooming her to a life of ill heath and insecurity if I go back to work full-time and stop breastfeeding?
Does learning to write her name and to read in a coffee shop count as preschool?
Home school? Private school? Public school?
As I write this, I am typing on a keyboard in my lap as I continue to wait out this hour of letting the glucose settle in my system so the nurse can draw my blood.
My lap is getting smaller these days. . .a constant reminder that God is entrusting Joe and me to yet another child.
Am I ready? Sure. And that is a confident ‘sure.’
I have an advantage this time around as a mother of a newborn. I know firsthand that time truly does fly and that the sleepless nights and yucky diapers are just a blink in the grand scheme of parenting.
And that with every difficult parenting decision we will face, God’s wisdom will guide us to shape our sweet number 3, just as He has numbers 1 and 2.
Now…if only the next 10 minutes will fly by as I a wait for them to call my name!