Words cannot express how humbled I am by the response to the online Bible study.  I don’t have a definite number, but when it surpassed 20 and there were people from 12 different states joining me, I literally had to drop to my knees in prayer. 

 “Lord, I didn’t mean for this to happen.  I really just did this to keep myself accountable to my goals and hoped that a couple of friends would join me.  How in the world can I ever do this?  I am NOT a blogger, and don’t plan on becoming one.  I am a busy wife and momma who does not need one more thing to distract me from the priority of my family.  And let me remind you that Joe and I just agreed to take over the Sunday night children’s programming at our church where there are often more than 150 kids to take care of for 3 to 4 hours?  ”

“And how about my son who struggles with math and requires a lot of my time each day to help him?  And my daughter who I’m staying home with who needs me to play tea party with her and  to snuggle in bed at nap time to read books?  And I don’t even need to mention my sweet hubby…I already struggle at making him a priority.  Do I really need something else to distract me from these priorities in my life?”

I pled my case with the Lord and it really didn’t seem to make a difference.  He kept telling me to press on with it.  Yet, inside of me lingered fear and uncertainty that I had not heard Him correctly.  That is until this morning.

I sat down for my quiet time with Dr. Oz (not Oprah’s Oz…I like to call Oswald Chambers, author of  My Utmost For His Highest my ‘Dr. Oz’ because his words often have brought healing to my soul). February 9th…”Are You Exhausted Spiritually?”

Hmmmmm…..my answer to that question was ‘I’m not exhausted yet God, but I’m afraid in the next couple of months I will be because of the commitments I have made.’

I had to pause a moment from writing…I am honestly typing this with tears running down my face and my daughter asking me, “momma why are you making that sad face?”  My reply, “Honey sometimes when you read something in the Bible you are so joyful that it makes you cry!”

What is it in that devotional reading that makes me cry?  John 21:17 (NIV)   The third time he said to him, “Simon son of John, do you love me?”  Peter was hurt because Jesus asked him the third time, “Do you love me?” He said, “Lord, you know all things; you know that I love you.”   Jesus said, “Feed my sheep.”

Why did this send me into the ‘ugly cry’?  In this passage of John, Jesus tells his disciples that if they truly love him then they are to ‘feed (or tend) his sheep.’ 

I am so humbled that so many of Jesus’ sheep will be my responsibility to feed.  I DO love Jesus.  I DO.  He has given me the freedom from sin.  He has brought miracles into my life.  My Jesus has given me the charge to tend to His sheep and I must follow.  As ill-equipped or undeserving as I may feel, I must follow the voice of my Shepherd whom I truly love.  My own children, precious children at our church, and some of those doing this Bible study who have never really studied the Bible for themselves are all sheep that God has called me to feed and I count it a privilege to obey that calling.

Do yourself a favor…snag a copy of Dr. Oz’s classic devotional or just read it online….by pointing you to the Word of God, it can heal you in ways the other Dr. Oz never could.

Oh, and if you haven’t signed up to join us, you can read more about the Bible study here.

Holly

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